This week was trying to say the least. I shall call it the week that tried to bring me down. Test my patience if you will. Lucas has decided that 5am is his new wake up time. Now, I have an amazing hubby who takes the morning shift but when you live in a studio there’s not much wiggle room when it comes to privacy and peace. I’m a pretty solid sleeper but a screaming baby at 5 in the morning..I mean, you try getting some good shut eye during that commotion. Not only has Lucas become an extremely early riser, he wakes up full of energy. Seize the day is this boys motto! Side note: it must be said that I go to bed extremely late. I’m usually catching up on emails, doing work, and watching the Kardashians on volume 1. This is totally my own fault but nevertheless 3-4 hours of sleep hasn’t been cutting it for me.

So anywho, when the hubs leaves to work it’s just the energizer bunny and I. Normally this is awesome. Just my boy and I ready to take on Manhattan. This week I was totally drained. Fast forward to Wednesday. 3 hours of sleep and a cab ride later we were on our way to visit our gals Lindsey and Stella on the West side. When we arrived I reached down into my bag to grab my debit card. I noticed the screen was blank and asked the driver to please turn it on so I could pay. Apparently he had already turned it on and I had pressed the cash button, making the on screen option to pay with a card disappear. Never happened. He proceeds to get upset, insisting I pressed the button then moving on to say that my son pressed it. Now, I know Lucas is showing signs of being a baby genius but the odds of him pressing the cash button in the 2 seconds it took to grab my debit card was highly unlikely. Impressive, yes. Possible, yes. But seriously? I tell him I don’t have enough cash and I have to pay with my card. He told me I would have to walk to the ATM (2 blocks away) and leave all my belongings in the car. When I said NO, he would have to reset the machine (which btw is 100% possible) he flew off the deep end. He officially begins to curse, shout “you’re trying to cheat me!”, and tells me I’m trying to run out of the cab. DUDE. I’m holding my baby, have two huge bags, and my stroller that’s worth more than a 5 hour joy ride in your silly cab stowed away in your trunk. Where the heck was I headed? I start repeatedly asking him to stop talking to me and to please stop yelling in front of my baby. I then called Lindsey to come down with cash and got out of the cab to wait outside. The man gets out and proceeds to scream at me. At this point a crowd is forming and people are staring in disbelief. I finally called the cops. My blood was boiling and let’s be serious. I was carrying Lucas and I in no way wanted to put him in harms way. You can’t fight crazy with crazy.. The cops show up and the driver is still yelling. The first thing out their mouth was “Are you serious? She has a kid.” Another lady even stopped to yell at the driver! By the time we all left and headed to Lindsey’s apartment I was sweating, shaky, and down right exhausted. Our morning with the ladies was great but I honestly didn’t think I’d survive the day. By the time Ivan got home all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and be alone.

The rest of the week continued with 5am wake up calls and my patience running thin. I found myself feeling short followed by guilty mom feelings soon after. Sucky to say the least. There are weeks when I feel like I’m on top of the world. Super mom! This week brought me down a notch and made me get off my high horse. Every day can’t be perfect. There will always be moments when I feel aggravated. Times where I feel like nothing I am doing is enough. AND THAT’S OK. Tonight Lucas gave me so many snuggles and fell asleep in my arms on our bus ride home. No matter how hard it gets, he thinks I’m the best and that’s all that matters. Every day is another opportunity to start fresh and if those daily morning hugs I get from my baby are any indication, all is forgiven in the eyes of our children. That’s a pretty sweet deal if you ask me.

Now here are some of my favorite pics from the week. Just to prove it wasn’t all that bad.

IMG_6463IMG_6462IMG_6461IMG_6460vsco_02Happy weekend loves!


  1. J 07.13.2013

    Thanks for being raw! As a new mom myself, I experience these feelings and it’s nice to know we are not alone! <3

    • Nicole Gonzalez 07.13.2013

      Hi mama! I think we ALL go through it!! Remember..this too shall pass <3 Have a great weekend!! xoxo

  2. Mari 07.13.2013

    I really enjoy reading your blog. It takes me back to NYC, which I miss so much now that I live in Cali. This story is typical of a day in the NYC. He took advantage of the fact that you wouldn’t unleash on him, BECAUSE you were with the baby……Kraaaazzzeeee!!!!

    • Nicole Gonzalez 07.14.2013

      There’s no place like New York! Filled with crazies 😉 He’s lucky I had the baby with me haha!!! Thanks for taking the time to read and comment love!!! xoxo

  3. Melissa 07.25.2013

    I’m al little late to this post but I just had to tell you that I FEEL YA’! My 14 months old has been having weeks where she is incredibly perfect and others where she is incredibly off. Tantrums on tantrums, sleeping less, etc. What is this? Do you think teeth are bugging them maybe? Anyway…I also had to step back and remind myself that I just needed a small break (hello nail salon) and a few deep breaths because between tantrums she gives the biggest hugs that just make my day. So, long story short, thanks for letting me know it’s not just me! Oh’ and the cab situation…YIKES! Sorry you had to deal with that.


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