Onesies from Hugo Loves Tiki
Life with two. It’s everything I dreamed of and more. It’s the kind of stuff Hallmark commercials are made of. You know the ones. They leave you a heaping, sobbing mess and you feel like your heart might explode because that mom in the commercial is you and those babies in the commercial are your babies and they are god damn unicorns. It’s also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve never been so tired in my life and some days I stop and think to myself “what if I never, ever feel rested again? how will I survive? can people live off of no sleep? I mean, they have to..right? right?”
Lillie has zero nap schedule whereas Lucas went down every day at 1pm like clockwork. We leave at 2pm to pick up Lucas from school and usually she is just starting to doze off when I have to wake her up to make the walk to pick up. No naps make for a very cranky mama. She is starting to climb on furniture and puts just about anything she can get her hands on into her mouth. When we get home from picking up Lucas she wants to be held and I am have to make snacks, get homework done, nurse her, and try and get some play time in with Lucas. Some weeks I don’t leave a 3 block radius with the kids and it’s enough to drive anyone insane.
OKAY. Now the good stuff. Every sleepless night is worth it. I swear. Lucas tells me every day he loves me and that I am his favorite girl in the world (after Lillie Sol of course). Lillie loves the crap out of me and I am relishing in this baby stage when all she wants in the world is ME. I am her comfort and her safe spot. She can instantly stop crying in my arms and my arms alone. The way she looks at me when she nurses is enough to make my heart melt into a giant puddle and I stare back at her and can’t believe this beautiful little creature is my daughter. My best friend sent from God. On the days I am beyond exhausted and don’t think I can take another minute with a child’s foot or hand or mouth on me, we all cuddle and get ready for bed time and Lucas asks me to tell him a story and I forget my exhaustion. I tell him about the adventures of Prince Lucas and all the shenanigans he gets into while exploring NYC and these stories are his favorite. MY stories. The ones I create just for him. Then we tell a few jokes and he covers me in kisses.
And don’t get me started on the relationship my kids have with each other. They love each other something fierce and I feel so proud and lucky that Ivan and I gave them the gift of having a friend for life. Nobody makes Lillie laugh like Lucas does and she doesn’t mind one bit when Lucas uses her for jumping practice or covers her little body in Ninja Turtles.
I’m tired as fuck but my heart is so full. My kids are god damn unicorns and that’s the truth. My truth. Thank you my Lucas León and Lillie Sol for making me the happiest, proudest, sappiest mama in the world. I love you. Te amo.