I pictured this moment while I was pregnant. These tender, loving, wonderful, heart exploding moments that my children would share. And let me tell you, the real thing is 100x better than anything I could have imagined. Lucas has exceeded all expectations of how he would react to his new baby sister. He absolutely adores Lillie and it’s an adorable sight to see. Every morning he looks for her and greets her with kisses and hugs. He loves to tell me just how cute and pretty she is. My mama heart is bursting with so much love for these two. My favorite is when he shouts “Lillie SOLLLLLL”. You have to just imagine his little pip-squeak voice and I guarantee it will make you grin. Sigh. My heart is right up there captured in a few impromptu photos.
Everyone in pajamas and/or undies. A mama covered in breast milk. Endless nursing sessions. Popsicles for a mid-day snack. This is a little glimpse into what you mind find if you come visit us nowadays. My love Mary snapped a few shots while her and little Olive came to visit us last week. I’m finding that visits from friends and family have been essential this time around and I’m so thankful for my beautiful tribe.
Maternity shots are tricky business. I find that I am most drawn to images that are natural and not over done. Too fussy and overly thought out bump photos make me nervous! When the lovely and talented Belle offered to take maternity portraits I jumped at the chance. I am drawn to her style and beautiful creativity and I felt confident she would capture my growing belly and I just how I envisioned.
mama necklace c/o brooklyn thread
Dear my Lucas León,
You are almost a big brother! Until then I have been trying to savor every moment with you. Just you. It’s hard to find beauty in the every day when my patience is running thin, my belly is growing at a rapid pace, and I can barely get off the couch without losing my balance. Somehow you still manage to make me smile each and every day. You my little love are truly the light of my life. You say the funniest things and are the wittiest person I know. I love the way you run with such gumption, your exuberance for life and how happy you are just to hang out with me.
You still come running out of the bathroom after each bath, sopping wet and your towel falling off, giggling and shouting “naked baby hugs!” to either your dad or I. It’s kind of the best. You had your first real yoga class last week and you gave it a solid 15 minutes before you decided running around with your friends would be more fun. I gave you an A for effort and I was seriously impressed you lasted more than 10 minutes to be honest.
I love your kisses and your hugs. The way you say I love you right at the best moments as if you can sense I need a pick me up. I love the way you turn to me and say “you know who I miss? Nana.” You have such an incredible bond with your grandmother and it’s a relationship I hope you always cherish. I love that your favorite room in the house is yours and how you take pride in all your possessions – no matter how tiny or insignificant they may seem to me (like your teeny tiny turtle weapons that are almost impossible to find when lost..).
I am the luckiest mama on Earth. You are mine and I am yours and just knowing that lets me go to sleep each night with a full and happy heart. I love you to to the moon, the stars, and all of planets. My little lion – you are truly the best!
A few weeks ago a friend looked at Lucas and dubbed him “Mowgli”. In that exact moment he was climbing a wall, jumping, and bouncing around. With his his new summer tan, sweet round face, and black, messy hair I thought the nickname was perfection and it’s kind of stuck around since then. My little Mowgli bear!
With Mother’s Day coming up, I’ve been reflecting on not just mama-hood but how I feel about myself as woman. Everything happened faster this pregnancy and I have found myself on more than one occasion complaining about my body more than I care to admit. I’ve finally realized how freaking amazing my body is. I get to nurture and carry a beautiful being for a second time and how amazing is THAT? My breasts are growing, I have a little more junk in the trunk, and there’s certainly more of me to love and that’s OKAY. We are women. We are mamas. We are miraculous. There’s nothing more freeing than learning to love our bodies and feeling proud, beautiful, and even sensual (yep!) during this time in our lives that only we were built to do.
Baby girl will be here in 3 months. We are still working on a middle name and Lucas is still asking for a brother. I know his world is going to be rocked when she arrives and everyone assures me he will be head over heels for his little sister. I get all giddy and emotional when I think of how protective he will be over her and the bond they will share. We are leaving to the Dominican Republic for a family vacation/baby moon and when we get back we will start to get the crib and all her essentials ready. My mama friends weren’t kidding me – the time really does fly the second time around.
I’m 20 weeks today. HALF. FREAKING. WAY. My sweet bean is wiggling up a storm and Ivan can finally feel those sweet kicks too. All these firsts – it still feels so surreal to be experiencing them all again. Speaking of firsts, watch this video and have your tissues handy. It might be my raging hormones but I think all moms – pregnant or not – can relate.
This time around my body was all “oh yea, I know what to do here” and began growing – everywhere – FAST. My belly popped around the 10 week mark and I’m continuously surprised/shocked when I catch glimpses of myself in the mirror. Who’s that lady with the belly? Oh yea, it’s me!
It’s still cold here in New York, which means I’m still bundling myself up in the only two coats left that fit, just wishing for beautiful Spring days where I can bust out my dresses and leave the house with ease. I’m also ready to just rock this baby bump like nobodies business rather than feel weighed down in layers, adding extra bulk to my already expanding body.
A constant craving has been Sanpellegrino aranciata. I buy a pack on almost every supermarket run. I fill up a huge glass with ice, pour a can, add a straw, plop myself on the couch, and voila. 5 minutes of pure, orange bliss.
20 weeks down. 20 more to go.
My little love. My first born and my sweet, vivacious boy. Since finding out we are expecting I have found myself relishing and taking in all that is still baby-esque about you. Your cheeks that are still so squishy. The way you still love to be cuddled when your tired. Your squeaky little voice and the way you say “mama”. Your booboos and ouchies that still need my kisses in order to feel better.
After bed time and long after you are snoring I tip toe into your room and stare at you for a bit. I just can’t believe you are mine. These quiet moments after a long day of Legos and turtles fill me with so much love and bittersweet feelings. I have felt guilt for you no longer being our baby and bringing another being in this world who will need me and your daddy’s love and attention. Then I snap back into reality and realize just how lucky we are – how luck you are. You my love are going to be the best big brother. Really, you are! Being an only child myself I have always wondered what it would be like to have a constant companion. One to fight with, invade my space, yet still be the one I want to share all my secrets with and would protect with my life. Instead of feeling guilty I now daydream of the two of you together. Sharing, loving, and embracing sibling hood.
I recently bought you this book and while you have shown little interest (!!) in choosing it for story time we are working on slowly but surely getting you used to the idea of a new little being coming into our home. Sometimes I ask you if you’d like to feel the baby in my tummy and you answer with a nonchalant “No thanks, mama. Maybe later.” Like I said. Slowly but surely. You do however love to remind me how big my tummy is growing. “Wow. Your belly is big!” I’ll take what I can get kid. Come August I’m certain I will have the cutest duo in the world on my hands. Am I a lucky mama or what?