Onesies from Hugo Loves Tiki
Life with two. It’s everything I dreamed of and more. It’s the kind of stuff Hallmark commercials are made of. You know the ones. They leave you a heaping, sobbing mess and you feel like your heart might explode because that mom in the commercial is you and those babies in the commercial are your babies and they are god damn unicorns. It’s also the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve never been so tired in my life and some days I stop and think to myself “what if I never, ever feel rested again? how will I survive? can people live off of no sleep? I mean, they have to..right? right?”
Lillie has zero nap schedule whereas Lucas went down every day at 1pm like clockwork. We leave at 2pm to pick up Lucas from school and usually she is just starting to doze off when I have to wake her up to make the walk to pick up. No naps make for a very cranky mama. She is starting to climb on furniture and puts just about anything she can get her hands on into her mouth. When we get home from picking up Lucas she wants to be held and I am have to make snacks, get homework done, nurse her, and try and get some play time in with Lucas. Some weeks I don’t leave a 3 block radius with the kids and it’s enough to drive anyone insane.
OKAY. Now the good stuff. Every sleepless night is worth it. I swear. Lucas tells me every day he loves me and that I am his favorite girl in the world (after Lillie Sol of course). Lillie loves the crap out of me and I am relishing in this baby stage when all she wants in the world is ME. I am her comfort and her safe spot. She can instantly stop crying in my arms and my arms alone. The way she looks at me when she nurses is enough to make my heart melt into a giant puddle and I stare back at her and can’t believe this beautiful little creature is my daughter. My best friend sent from God. On the days I am beyond exhausted and don’t think I can take another minute with a child’s foot or hand or mouth on me, we all cuddle and get ready for bed time and Lucas asks me to tell him a story and I forget my exhaustion. I tell him about the adventures of Prince Lucas and all the shenanigans he gets into while exploring NYC and these stories are his favorite. MY stories. The ones I create just for him. Then we tell a few jokes and he covers me in kisses.
And don’t get me started on the relationship my kids have with each other. They love each other something fierce and I feel so proud and lucky that Ivan and I gave them the gift of having a friend for life. Nobody makes Lillie laugh like Lucas does and she doesn’t mind one bit when Lucas uses her for jumping practice or covers her little body in Ninja Turtles.
I’m tired as fuck but my heart is so full. My kids are god damn unicorns and that’s the truth. My truth. Thank you my Lucas León and Lillie Sol for making me the happiest, proudest, sappiest mama in the world. I love you. Te amo.
That moment when you read something that the universe deliberately placed on your lap. Tired as fuck too, and feeling pretty crappy about feeling like my life doesn’t resemble my life before children at all, but in all of the ways that matter, I wouldn’t want it to. I remember that this moment is fleeting and there will come a day when I will long for them to need me the way that they do right now.
Your an amazing Mami, thanks for the inspiration and support, indeed it takes a village!
Gisele-Mom to unicorns, Emma 4, Lily 3, and Leah 18 months.
Oh mama. I feel you!!! SO TIRED! But thank you and your little unicorns think you’re the best thing since sliced bread..I’m sure of it!!!
This is beautiful. I needed it tonight as me and my co sleeping angel 8 month old snuggle and wake up all night to nurse. Is Lillie still nursing through the night? The exhaustion sets in and I want to cry because it seems like it will never not be there. I need to do as you say and relish in the beauty that my son really only wants me. Hold him. Love him. Be there with him. Thank you for this.
Hi love! She sometimes still wakes up but usually her last nursing session now is around 10pm and then we nurse again around 630/7am. BUT she is not a big nap taker so my exhaustion hits around mid day. We are all doing our best and I am constantly reminding myself of how fast this period in their life flies by. <3 xx
Omg you’re post made me tear up in a happy way, I feel the same way! Some days are harder than others but it’s so worth it!
Absolutely worth it
xx
This post is SO sweet! Glad to have to landed on your blog
I am due any day now with baby #2 and my daughter is almost 1.5 years old. I get a bit nervous to have 2 under 2 but I know there it’s all going to be worth it even if I’ll get less sleep. Thanks for sharing!! <3
xo Raina
http://www.themamaqueen.com
Thank you so much!! Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck with everything. Trust me it’ll be so amazing!!!
Thank you for this. I’m struggling with an 8 month oldsuddenly not sleeping and I’m looking for inspiration from other mum’s who don’t do strict routines or ‘controlled crying’. Every missed nap, difficult bedtime or 3am wake up I’m questioning whether letting my baby guide me is the right thing. My insticts tell me yes, it’s my job to help him but my exhaustion has me searching for a solution. Seeing your beautiful photos and hearing stories from other mums who let the babies call the shots and roll with it helps tremendously. Thanks for letting me know your perfect little love also misses sleeps…and stays awake till 10pm!! My baby is just being a baby – like your baby – and we’re all tired. Will we ever feel rested again?! Ha!
Hi!! Thank you so much for this comment. It really gets so tough but we have to trust our mama instincts. I think you have to do what feels right for your baby! Lillie is not on a strict schedule at all and each day is different with her. And yes we are all tired! Not sure about ever feeling rested 😉 You’re doing a great job love!!! xx